After Linking Tylenol Use to Autism, RFK Jr. Says Pregnant Women Will Have to Find Another Way to Nurse Hangovers

Trying to remedy those past transgressions? Sorry mothers-to-be, the current administration has just made that a whole lot more difficult. What was supposed to be a fun maybe somewhat irresponsible night turned distant memory thanks to modern medicine, is now staring at you in the face, constantly reminding you of the woman you were before.

After days of research, data pulled by the RFK Jr. presidential campaign team found that Kenvue, the maker of Tylenol, did not contribute enough money to the failed presidential nominee’s race for office. Although hard to understand how the conclusion linking Tylenol use during pregnancy and the presence of autism in children at birth was founded based on this data, we were reassured by “top medical guys” that this data ultimately shows the correlation between the two.

That left us with one question: if it is suggested pregnant women no longer take Tylenol, how will future mothers nurse their hangovers the day after a night of partying?

Thankfully those same “top medical guys” had answers. When we reached out with our question posed above, it was suggested to us that pregnant women take a more alternative “non-western” approach to healing when symptoms arise the morning after a night of heavy drinking. Coffee, greasy meat dishes cooked to your liking, chemical ridden drink mixes, all can be a great substitute to the medicine we find ourselves dependent on. We were told that there is no cure all, but these items along with some hair of the dog can perk a childbearing woman right up and get them feeling like themselves again.

Morning after sickness is an unfortunate accompaniment to drinking. For those carrying a child it just became a lot harder to manage.